so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
