bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were destined to go to rehab together
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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