Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
