he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
