I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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