:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
