I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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