Duck Duck Cougar?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
