That reminds me...we need to get swords
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
