I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize