Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
