Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
