Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
