Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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