well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
