So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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