In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You're like the curious george of whores
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize