WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
