The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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