i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
