Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
