Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
