so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
