Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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