This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
