Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
