margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
God, I missed his penis.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
