Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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