Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Who died my cat blue again?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize