Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
