laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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