Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
