I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
