We need to rekindle our bromance
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
