I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
