Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
