i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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