my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
