We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
