i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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