Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
