That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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