can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
