How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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