she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
