I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
