we're blogging at a bar
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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