im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
