GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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