considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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