Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
