chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
