Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
