i was born a porn star she said
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
