You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We just shotgunned beers for America
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Panties = found
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize