So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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