Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
