I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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