Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize