... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize