i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
