I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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