well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
